Since they seem to be put together from an outside perspective, it can be difficult for them (or you!) to see they have a problem. Try to be impartial when looking at the symptoms of AUDs if your spouse seems to fit this profile. In short, they might not feel ready to seek support until they begin to recognize the ways drinking affects their daily life and relationships.
However, some 12-step groups are spiritually based while others are not, so they may not appeal to or work for everyone. All of these common experiences might leave you feeling a greater sense of instability for yourself and your children. By Buddy TBuddy T is a writer and founding member of the Online Al-Anon Outreach Committee with decades of experience writing about alcoholism. Because he is a member of a support group that stresses the importance of anonymity at the public level, he does not use his photograph or his real name on this website.
The enabler is the person who tries to cover up the alcoholic’s behaviors and take responsibility for them. They usually will make excuses for the person with a substance use disorder and try to keep everyone happy. By not making the person take responsibility for their actions, they are helping them continue their destructive behaviors.
- The effects of living with an alcoholic are both short-term and have lasting consequences.
- In addition to treatment programs for people with AUD, there are also support options available to those living with someone with alcoholism.
- The idea of talking to your alcoholic partner about their drinking can be daunting.
- It’s essential to seek support for yourself and explore ways to prioritize your well-being.
When someone reaches a crisis point, sometimes that’s when they finally admit they have a problem and begin to reach out for help. Confront them.This could be in a one-on-one conversation or aninterventionwith others who are concerned about the person. If you never tell them how their actions affect you, they will likely never know. A spouse of an addict can choose to do nothing; it’s a common option but often a bad idea.
How alcohol addiction can affect a household
As stated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), excessive drinking can lead to short-term and long-term health risks. The effects of alcohol can impact a person as well as their loved ones in various ways. As stated by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse The 14 Best Nonalcoholic Drinks of 2024, by Food & Wine and Alcoholism (NIAAA), an alcohol use disorder (AUD) is characterized by the inability to stop drinking alcohol. Just know couples therapy will likely only have benefit if they’re willing to do some self-work at the same time, either through individual therapy or an AUD treatment program. You can’t make your partner get help, and you can’t force them to change.
Self-help tips for living with someone with AUD
They’re also at a higher risk for other challenges, including difficulties forming close relationships, lying, and self-judgment. But, as with drug addiction, an addiction to alcohol is considered a chronic, or long-term, disease. More than likely, your loved one knows the dangers of AUD, but their addiction is so powerful that they have a hard time controlling it. Friends, roommates, or other family members who live with someone with AUD may also find themselves blaming the person or trying to control their drinking behaviors.
Should I leave my spouse if they don’t stop drinking?
Sometimes there isn’t anything else you can do to help your loved one. Having a plan to remove yourself from the situation is an important step in taking care of yourself and other members of your family. As previously mentioned, your partner cannot begin their journey to recovery until they are ready. Alcohol addiction damages your partner but it causes harm to you as well. And you cannot start to heal from those wounds until you fully embrace the knowledge that you did not cause your partner’s addiction, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it.
The Challenges of Living With an Alcoholic Partner
If your partner struggles with alcohol addiction, you cannot change them. However, what you can do is make sure you’re taking good care of yourself. Invest in your relationships with other people, with your children, and with your extended family members. Treat yourself to something you enjoy on occasion in order to give yourself a break from the turmoil at home. For instance, get a pedicure or enjoy a night out at the movies with friends.
Intoxication can also present other unpredictable events, including physical dangers. When under the influence, your loved one may become angry and lash out. They likely don’t even realize they’re behaving this way, and they may not remember once the effects of the alcohol wear off. Someone with AUD may also become angry or irritable when they don’t have access to alcohol because they’re experiencing withdrawal.
Learn about the warning signs, how to spot a problem, and what you can do if someone… Living with an alcoholic is traumatic, especially if there is serious abuse. Having boundaries avoids co-dependency and sets limits for your loved one. The Doctor Weighs In is a trusted source for quality evidence-based stories about health, healthcare, and innovation. If you suspect a family member is abusing alcohol, contact the admissions team at The Recovery Village at Palmer Lake today. The lost child gets lost in the chaos and essentially slips into the background.
